Ian Baker-Douchebag

Ian Baker-Finch is my new nemesis. Why he is so prevelent in CBS' golf coverage, I don't know. Supposedly he's assigned to a certain hole but for some reason he takes over the telecast at times.

His accent is, at best, tough to bare. It's more annoying the more he talks and he says things that lack true golf insight - it's more of a rambling contradiction in most cases.

I don't think I'm alone in my sentiment.

Here is one recent exchange between CBS color analyst David Feherety and Baker-Finch after a replay of Tiger Woods holed a pitch shot behind the 11th green at The Memorial golf tournament that featured a one-handed finish by Woods:

Baker-Finch: That's how you play a soft shot. Keep the left hand going. Keep the club face open. Take the right hand off so you don't get too much effort.

Feherey: That's fundamentally not right.

Baker-Finch: Remember the shot that he holed from similar rough at the back of 14 a fews years ago in his three victories in a row.

Feherety: Who doesn't.

Really? That's how you play a shot? One-handed?

First of all, only the follow-through was one-handed. But Baker-Finch wasn't going to let that formality stand in the way of his sensationalism of the analysis. And to suggest that's how you, Joe Weekend Hacker, are supposed to play the shot is ludacrious.

The truth of the matter was that Tiger happend to take his right hand off of the club which was, in my opinion, probably to add a little drama to the shot as opposed to, as Baker-Finch suggests, how it's done correctly.

If you read between the lines, Feherety's two responses were essentially: "No it's not" and "You're an idiot"

Here is another comment from Baker-Finch after Jim Furyk hit a good shot out of a green-side bunker:

"It's so hard from these bunkers isn't it David because there's not a lot of play in that sand. It's very thick and heavy - almost a wet crusty feel."

Is it wet and crusty or thick and heavy? Thick and heavy? Maybe so. Wet and crusty? Well, since the course hadn't received any rain during the four days of play - probably not. As well, if a bunker is thick and heavy, it's most likely dry and there's a lot of "play" in it. If it's wet and crusty, not so much. What a moron.

A lot of golf announcers are guilty of over-dramatizing the circustances or the difficulty of certain shots but, for the most part, that comes with the territory. I mean, it's golf, which is to most people very boring to watch. Therefore, the analysts have to spice it up a litte bit but IBF has recently gotten to be a real bur in my saddle with his brutal input.

Moving onward...

Given the fact that a golf telecast takes on the same persnickity nature of the game itself, I would love to see a casual fan in the booth to give a little more of a hacker's point-of-view. Preferably someone that's not necessarily a Tiger fan and doesn't look to stroke him off at turn - God knows there's plenty of that going on already. I know Ferehety plays that role to some extent for CBS but I'm looking for someone a little more raw. Johnny Miller (NBC) is more of a realist in the way I like to hear golf commentated but I'd like to hear someone a little less educated in certain circumstances and more critical in others. CBS' crew just has way too much of a PGA love-fest going on. I feel like CBS' crew is a group of jovial tight-wads that need a no-nonsence critic that isn't afraid to always paint such a rosy picture.