Being a father with kids that occupy the majority of my time away from work I am often relegated to recording shows or sporting events that I want to watch. My standard operating procedure is to head to the basement after the kids go to bed and settle in for the action that the rest of the world already knows the outcome of. Therein lies the rub. The fact that the rest of the free world knows about, commercializes, publishes, markets, advertises, discusses, debates and opines about leaves me in full defense mode from the time the event ends to the time I am able to start watching.
I take painstaking efforts to avoid gaining knowledge of the outcome of the sporting event that I have recorded since I don't want my small sacrifice of not getting to watch the event live ruin the drama that all others get to enjoy as they play out second by second. This approach might seem rather easy but some unpredictable and, therefore, unavoidable circumstances have played themselves out in some frustrating ways in the past few months.
Take for instance the NCAA's Final Four semi-final games. I was too busy laboring in the yard to catch the beginning of the first game so I recorded the game(s) and planned on starting from the opening tip of the UConn/Michigan State game once I've had a chance to get cleaned up and eat dinner. However, this proved a little more difficult than I had thought. I mean seriously, what the hell could possibly happen between the 20 minutes that it takes for me to hop in the shower and grab a sandwich and head to the basement that would reveal the results that I'm trying to avoid? Well, typically, not much. Unless, that is, your wife has a stake in the office pool and is now interested in the action.
My wife was tied for the lead heading into the semi-final games. The only chance she had a raking in any of the cash was for Michigan State and Villanova to win. So my wife, who couldn't otherwise care less about anything to do with sports, is now checking in on the action to see where she stands. Nonetheless, by the time I get out of the shower the first game is now finished. As I dart from the bathroom to the kitchen to begin watching my recording, my wife boastfully states: "I'm halfway there!" Thanks. Didn't see that one coming.
Another instance was theis weekend's Masters. Since I was (a) driving back from Atlanta and (b) it was was Easter, I recorded the final round. My kids wanted to call my parents to tell them about their Easter basket surprises so as my daughter is talking to my mom, I hear my mom scream (through the phone) about "Kenny Perry's putt." I look at the clock and it was 6:50 so I figured it was whatever was happening on the final hole. Because she seemed so excited I figured it was because Perry had made a putt to win the tournament.
My dad then gets on the phone and wants to talk to me about the finale. I told him that I had recorded the action so I wasn't watching. This further suggested to me that Perry had won because, being a Kentuckian, he's our boy.
After the kids went to bed I began watching the action. About halfway through the final round I decide to go send a quick e-mail. I would typically not have run the risk of seeing something on the computer that would ruin the result for me but figuring my mom had already spilled the beans, I didn't think I'd be finding anything out that I didn't already know. The home page that comes up is msnbc.com and wouldn't you know it, it has Angel Cabrera on the front wearing a green jacket. Although it ran contrary to what I had originally thought, it was yet another unexpected way to get the news.
A part of me wanted to convince myself it wasn't right. I especially thought it was an error when I saw the leaders walking to the 17th tee and Perry still holding a two-stroke lead. I had to wonder for a second if the picture I saw was, in fact, correct and, in fact, Cabrerra.
While both of these are recent examples, my parents and wife have been sources of my frustration in the past as well. In a previous Masters recording (which was won by Phil Mickelson - one of my favorite golfers) I asked my dad not to say anything regarding the tournament because I was planning on watching it later. He said, "Okay, I won't...but you're going to be happy." Wonderful dad. For a second there I thought you were going to ruin it for me.
I also recorded the NCAA Championship Game. As I hit the couch to begin the action I get a text from a friend of mine that simply says, "not worth watching."
I guess I just have to (a.) come to accept the fact that confidentiality is impossible for my viewing protocol or (b.) become a couch potato that ignors his kids and family responsibilities and watch it real time while warding off 10,000 distractions. I'm thinking the latter ain't gonna happen short of divorce.
Kelly, sit down, we need to talk...
Anyone know the number for Winters, Yonker and Rousell?
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