Traffic School = Sucks

I had to attend traffic school today and it was as uncerimonious as I remembered it to be. I think next time I'll just choose to either do it from home by ordering the video or just blow it off altogether and take the hit on my insurance. But, I take pride in the fact that I "graduated" with honors (Cum Laude, thank you very much).

Nothing makes you feel like a dirty rotten scoundrel quite like traffic school. I suppose alcohol class might suck worse but I haven't had that privledge and I hope I never do. I only know that the only time I felt like such a societal bottom feeder was when I had to go to city hall to actually pay my ticket. I had to shower just get the stink off of that place. The people that populate city hall on a daily basis looking to resolve their debt to society are a rather scandilous bunch to say the least - certainly not people I'd want to rub shoulders with frequently - ever really.

But back to traffic school...

I suspect the majority of people that were in attendence (39 of us) where there as a result of speeding. However, the directive is no doubt to subject attendees to a program seemingly more fit for a felon. I understand the reasoning, the concept and the scare tactics - it just sucks.

The videos that you have to watch are very graphic and unsettling. They are graphic re-enactments of wrecks that have to do with not wearing a seatbelt, speeding or driving under the influence. It basically made me want to (a.) get a Hans device and a helmet (b.) drive 15 miles per hour and (c.) never have a drink and get behind the wheel in the same week, let alone day - not a bad thing actually.

If the government made 16-year olds take this course BEFORE going to get their permit, I would venture to say that a number of kids would say, "you know what, I'm gonna sit this year out and reapply at a later date." Hell, it almost me made turn in my license afterward. It makes me cringe to think that one day I will have to entrust my kids with the responsibility of driving. I think I'm going to get them a bus.

Nonetheless, I think for the foreseeable future I'm going to take a more conservative approach to driving. Not that I was ever wreckless necessarily but being that the consequences of taking certain chances are rather fresh in my mind after sitting through several hours of traffic school is a genuinely scary reality. I guess me walking away with that mentality makes the program effective and a good reality check for my otherwise invincible self (joking).

One other thing that it was good for is that it made me realize that my license has been expired for the past 10 days. Since I was already at the government licensing division it made it very easy for me to walk down the hall and get it renewed - my old license didn't look much like me anymore anyway - less hair now!

So, now that I have paid my debt to society, renewed my license and adopted a more responsible approach to driving, I can say that I'm back in good standing with the state and, theoretically, a better person. Self-esteem needs a little repair but that should come back in due time.

Now, I just need to go hop in the shower and wash off the "dirt-ball" label I left traffic school with.

Ian Baker-Douchebag

Ian Baker-Finch is my new nemesis. Why he is so prevelent in CBS' golf coverage, I don't know. Supposedly he's assigned to a certain hole but for some reason he takes over the telecast at times.

His accent is, at best, tough to bare. It's more annoying the more he talks and he says things that lack true golf insight - it's more of a rambling contradiction in most cases.

I don't think I'm alone in my sentiment.

Here is one recent exchange between CBS color analyst David Feherety and Baker-Finch after a replay of Tiger Woods holed a pitch shot behind the 11th green at The Memorial golf tournament that featured a one-handed finish by Woods:

Baker-Finch: That's how you play a soft shot. Keep the left hand going. Keep the club face open. Take the right hand off so you don't get too much effort.

Feherey: That's fundamentally not right.

Baker-Finch: Remember the shot that he holed from similar rough at the back of 14 a fews years ago in his three victories in a row.

Feherety: Who doesn't.

Really? That's how you play a shot? One-handed?

First of all, only the follow-through was one-handed. But Baker-Finch wasn't going to let that formality stand in the way of his sensationalism of the analysis. And to suggest that's how you, Joe Weekend Hacker, are supposed to play the shot is ludacrious.

The truth of the matter was that Tiger happend to take his right hand off of the club which was, in my opinion, probably to add a little drama to the shot as opposed to, as Baker-Finch suggests, how it's done correctly.

If you read between the lines, Feherety's two responses were essentially: "No it's not" and "You're an idiot"

Here is another comment from Baker-Finch after Jim Furyk hit a good shot out of a green-side bunker:

"It's so hard from these bunkers isn't it David because there's not a lot of play in that sand. It's very thick and heavy - almost a wet crusty feel."

Is it wet and crusty or thick and heavy? Thick and heavy? Maybe so. Wet and crusty? Well, since the course hadn't received any rain during the four days of play - probably not. As well, if a bunker is thick and heavy, it's most likely dry and there's a lot of "play" in it. If it's wet and crusty, not so much. What a moron.

A lot of golf announcers are guilty of over-dramatizing the circustances or the difficulty of certain shots but, for the most part, that comes with the territory. I mean, it's golf, which is to most people very boring to watch. Therefore, the analysts have to spice it up a litte bit but IBF has recently gotten to be a real bur in my saddle with his brutal input.

Moving onward...

Given the fact that a golf telecast takes on the same persnickity nature of the game itself, I would love to see a casual fan in the booth to give a little more of a hacker's point-of-view. Preferably someone that's not necessarily a Tiger fan and doesn't look to stroke him off at turn - God knows there's plenty of that going on already. I know Ferehety plays that role to some extent for CBS but I'm looking for someone a little more raw. Johnny Miller (NBC) is more of a realist in the way I like to hear golf commentated but I'd like to hear someone a little less educated in certain circumstances and more critical in others. CBS' crew just has way too much of a PGA love-fest going on. I feel like CBS' crew is a group of jovial tight-wads that need a no-nonsence critic that isn't afraid to always paint such a rosy picture.

New Tax Structure - Makes Sense To Me!

I heard an idea recently on the radio that made a lot of sense that I have yet to find much of a flaw with. The concept is to do away with the personal income tax and switch to a uniform increase in sales tax that will accomplish the same principle, yet to a greater and more all-encompassing magnitude. The main advantage to this concept is that it incorporates 100% of the US population versus the, roughly (and conservatively), 50% that currently report and pay personal income taxes.

As I see it, this structure would be a uniform, proportionate and non-discriminating structure that would alleviate the painful, time-consuming and expensive process by which most law-abiding citizens currently go through come April of each year. It almost seems way too simple. This probably explains why I'm either way off-base or the government is evidently resistant to the idea.

To simply do away with the personal income tax filing method in favor of a increased sales tax, no one is exempt. The rich can't search for loopholes or other tactics by which to avoid paying the piper. The middle-class chips in in the same blue-collar way they most likely currently do. The poor aren't exempt because of failing to file personal income taxes altogether or other entitlements that might be extended by the government. The illegal immigrants pay into the system regardless of their green card status. Men, women, children alike share in the responsibilty. No dependents. Your kid buys a pack of baseball cards, they're in - just like everyone else.

The basis is simple: You live here, you pay your share. You buy something, you contribute - whether you like it or not. If you can afford it (or should I say, even if you can't), you are carrying your weight with society. Want a cell phone? Pay the price - plus, say, 15% - 20%. Want to get your nails done? It's no longer $30.00 - it's $36.00. Seems nominal doesn't it?

What we would lose in the revenue generated from 50% of people paying their personal income tax would be more than made up for by 100% of the people paying an increased sales tax. No? I think so.

Now, we currently have a sales tax structure in place (6%) that serves this purpose to some extent. However, it's hardly enough to cover our national spending budget. In these times, when we're bailing out GM, Citi, AIG and the like, 6% is not only not enough but it still doesn't alleviate the need for the government to collect from responsible citizens. And even THAT still isn't enough. Seems like change is needed in this battle.

The fact is, the current system is set up for the rich to contribute the most (I think the stat is something like 1% of the population contributes 80% of the revenue generated by the personal income tax) and as the income level decreases, so does the obligation - the more you make, the more they take! Hardly reasonable or motivation to go knock it out of the park. As well, this won't necessarily go away by increasing the sales tax in lieu of ridding ourselves of the personal income tax. After all, the rich can afford more "stuff" and they buy more "stuff." Therefore, they will continue to pay in more to the system than anyone else. However, the playing field is level for everyone and your contribution is only determined by what you can afford - or choose to spend. No more of the guy that has a cell phone, a kick-ass stereo, 24" rims, low-profile tires and an iPod but evidently doesn't make enough to pay income taxes.

Corporations would adhere to the same policy. Buy inventory, pay as you go. Buy a machine, pay as you go. Buy a building, pay as you go. No loopholes. No need to pay quarterly or speculate and save for the end of the year only to find out that you're short. Pay as you go. Simple math that applies across the board.

Where is this unfair?

You make $45,000 and buy $30,000 worth of goods, you pay in $6,000. You make $2,500,00 and buy $1,000,000 worth of goods, you pay in $200,000. Seems perfectly proportionate to me. As well, unless you steal in order to avoid the consequences of paying the increased sales tax, it's a self-monitoring system. No longer would the IRS have to perform countless hours auditing individuals and companies to get to the bottom of how they might be sheltering income through shell corporations, LLC's or off-shore accounts.

There is a minor downfall with adopting this system as it would seemingly come at the expense of a number of jobs. The IRS wouldn't need the same number of employees to process the paperwork. Accountants and CPA's would, by-and-large, be put out of business. However, the people that hold these positions are bright-minded people. They're resourcesful. They have options. It's not like they are specially trained to weld or hang drywall with no other tools. Their knowledge and business accumen would surely be in demand in some other area of business commerce. Hell, now that the government is collecting from 100% of the population, they could even afford to give these people a severence package to cover them for a certain period of their pending unemployment while they seek alternative employment.

The positives sure seem to outweigh the negatives as I see it. You?

Try it for a year, see what happens. I have to think we would like the result.

But what do I know?

John Calipari either has a great knack for timing or knows when to get the hell out of dodge.

Back in 1996, after leading UMass to the Final Four and a 35-2 record, he accepted a job offer to coach the New Jersey Nets. Soon thereafter, it was determined that Marcus Camby, UMass' star player, accepted $28,000 from an agent and UMass was therefore forced to vacate their Final Four and all 35 of their wins from the '96 season. Now, it is being reported that a key player from Memphis' national semi-final team from 2008 never passed his SAT. If this is true, Memphis will surely be forced to vacate all 38 wins from their '08 season and be stripped of their Final Four accomplishment. Calipari will then hold an interesting record - the only coach to have ever lead two teams to illegal Final Four appearances. Hmmmm! Not sure that one goes on your resume.

The player in question from the Memphis allegations is surely Derrick Rose although that has yet to be reported as fact. What other freshman would qualify as being an intergral part of that team? Rose was Memphis' key recruit so to think that Calipari was oblivious to the fact that there were issues surrounding his eligibility is ludicrous. However, I'm sure that will be his claim. Not his department right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Calipari is now the coach at UK so, interestingly enough, allegations that surround his former program, his former star player and his most recent success are once again left to be sorted out by his former employer. Ironic? I think not.

The allegations surrounding Memphis were brought about back in January so Calipari was aware of this situation when he capitalized on an opportunity to take the Kentucky job. I have to think this made Calipari's decision to accept the Kentucky position a little easier than he let on. Nonetheless, I have to wonder if Mitch Barnhart and Kentucky were equally aware of this situation. The last person that can afford to have egg on his face is Barnhart. If he's not there already, Barnhart is becoming notorious for botching the due dilligence aspect that is required of his position. Therefore, I'm sure he will have yet another fool-proof defense to his decision to pursue Calipari in the face of these allegations - especially considering he claims to hold compliance in such high regard. However, if he did in fact know about these allegations and proceeded with the hire anyway it appears as though satisfying the faithful is more of a priority than compliance. If he did not know about these allegations then he's once again proven himself a fool when it comes to the background check that goes with analyzing viable candidates for one of his athletic progams. Regardless, rest assured that whatever he says will not be met with much understanding from the media hounds that make it their job to question his authority, process and motives.

Since taking the job Kentucky fans have been caught up with the Calipari love affair that currently surrounds their program. After all, in just a couple of weeks, Calipari's snake oil has landed them the top recruiting class in the nation and once again has the Bluenecks thinking about banner number 8. Therefore, don't expect Cats fans to do anything but justify Calipari's Memphis discretions as nothing more than something out of his control.

Out of his control? Doubtful. On his watch? Definately!

When Kentucky hired Calipari they were handed a double-edged sword. The Big Blue Nation figured the good edge would soon take them to great heights and that the bad edge would be holstered without consequence. However, in just a matter of weeks it appears that the bad edge is not only apparent, but could soon be wielded upon themselves. If the NCAA comes down on Calipari in addition Memphis (see Simpson, Kelvin), Kentucky could once again be doing business with one hand tied behind their back.

Maybe the consequences of these allegations never find their way to Lexington and Cats fans will get the next banner that they so covet. However, you might want to keep the ladder handy in case that banner needs to be taken down in the future. After all, that seems to be the modus operandi of the Music Man known as coach Cal.

In the meantime, Mitch Barnhart - call your office.

Just Horsing Around...

If I hear another sports radio personality or other member of the media say Rachel AlexanDER I'm going to bang my head against my steering wheel. I was going to say "shoot myself" but that hardly seems justifiable. Anyway, just so I can get this off my chest to all those listening, it's Rachel AlexanDRA! After all, she is a girl!

Okay, now that I just lowered my blood pressure by issuing that statement, I'll opine about the Triple Crown trail - well, I guess it's not a trail anymore since no Triple Crown is at stake in the Belmont. However, it has still maintained a high viewing priority - at least for me.

Derby:

I'd be lying out of both sides of my mouth if I were to say I had anything to do with Mine That Bird as I evaluated my picks. The object of my affection for 135 was Frisean Fire, Pioneerof The Nile and Papa Clem. Two out of three were in the hunt, the other is still running. Oh well. Such is life when you're trying to make sense of 19 horses I guess.

Nonetheless, Mine That Bird and Calvin Borel made a huge move at the top of the stretch that was certainly deserving of the victory. That horse obvioulsy had another gear that made it appear that everyone else was simply standing still. Kudos. Great kick. Great ride. For Borel to have the nuggets to slip through that sliver of space on the rail and motor home to the finish line was impressive. However, when I looked back at my program after the race, I hardly felt like I missed an elelment of Mine That Bird's racing history that would have told me he was sitting on that kind of performance - wasn't alone on that sentiment either.

The Derby is a great spectacle and although my interest in horse racing wanes at other times of the year, I always love the pomp and circumstance, as well as the buzz, that is created in Louisville around the first Saturday in May.

Preakness:

Rachel Alexandra was the class of the field and she proved it. Calvin Borel had a decision to make (riding the Derby winner or riding the Oaks winner) and he made the right one by taking Rachel's reins. In the world of tough decisions to make, that's one that you'd like to be faced with. Which brings about a very interesting plot to the whole Triple Crown trail. Who in the world would think that the Derby winner would have three different jockies for the Derby, Preakness and Belmont. However, it seems likely this is what will happen. Unbelievable!

Can you imagine the quagmire: Hey, we have a Derby winner and need a jocky. You interested? Nah...

As impressive as Rachel Alexandra was in her wire-to-wire victory, Mine That Bird's performance was every bit as impressive. For a horse that everyone thought was a flash in the pan, his gutsy effort was more than a mere validation of his Derby victory. Had the race been the mile and a quarter that the Derby is, he probably would have won the second leg as well. However, it wasn't. So, he didn't. Still, he had another hard charging performance that only lacked the same real estate along the rail. Nonetheless, he was game all the way!

Another interesting comment that I heard about the Preakness is that there was no strategy or decision for Borel to make during the race since Rachel was the class of the field and lead wire to wire. Bullshit. Pardon my French. Breaking from the 13 hole, he had to guide his horse into position while steering clear of the danger that presents itself as the field approaches the first turn. The pace was another factor to feel out. The fractions were quick and, as a jockey, you have to (a) have a feel for it and (b) understand what that might mean for your horse's ability to finish. As well, once the race enters the top of the stretch, you have to gauge (a) what you have left underneath you and (b) be mindful of who's coming up from behind. Granted, Borel didn't have to seize an opportunity along the rail as he did in the Derby, but it was still a tactical ride that requires more skill than simply mounting the horse.

Even though a Triple Crown isn't at stake as we head toward the Belmont, there are still plenty of exciting storylines to play out. I think Mine That Bird is suited perfectly for the Belmont distance and think the owners of Rachel Alexandra should strongly consider skipping the race. Not because she couldn't win it, just not sure it is in the best interest of the horse - but what do I know. However, if they chose to run Ms. Alexandra, it should be another scintilating race.

Can't wait!

Swine Flu - Shmine Flu

Can someone please tell me what the big deal is about swine flu? And I refuse to use the politically correct term - H1N1...it's swine flu. Period!

As of yesterday, there were about 1,500 confirmed cases in the United States. Hardly an outbreak by my calculations. Rounded by four decimal places that figure still equals 0%. You have to go six decimal places before something other than a zero even shows up. Hardly a reason to cancel sporting events, weeks of school or any other social gatherings.

The confirmed deaths from swine flu - 2! I'm not even going to do the research but I suspect more people have died from getting struck by lightning since the so-called swine flu pandemic. PANDEMIC! Pa-Lease!

A pandemic is described as an epidemic over a wide geographic area and affecting a large proportion of the population. Riiiiiiight! Swine flu should be re-labeled the no-demic.

I chalk up the fear mongering going on about swine flu as merely a slow week in the news. After all...it's the FLU! It's not like the swine derivative causes your head to fall off your shoulders. That might actually be something to be worried about. But it's not! The flu has been around for, what, 1,000 years? I would suspect there have been more cases of the regular flu in the past few weeks. Don't hear a whole lot of coverage about the good ole fashion flu being a pandemic do you?

The next time there is a sickness that warrants the pandemic label and the amount of news coverage that the swine flu has garnered, I would suggest the over-under be at least 1% of the population, be a sickness that has more substantial consequences and has precautions other than washing your hands.

That being said, I still don't want it.

Prep Star Tyler Heading Overseas

San Diego High School basketball standout, Jeremy Tyler, is heading overseas to hone his basketball skills. In doing so, Tyler, a Junior, will be skipping his Senior year of high school, foregoing his college eligibility, and taking his game to the Euro league. This has raised many eyebrows and drawn much criticizm around the nation as Tyler is the first prep star to leave high school early for the opportunity to play professionally. I, on the other hand, don't have a problem with Tyler's decision.

If anyone should have a problem with Tyler's decision to forego the balance of his high school and college eligibility, it's me. Tyler was Rick Pitino's prized recruit for Louisville's 2010 recruiting class. Louisville is my team. Tyler's decison directly affects Louisville's future - seemingly in a negative way. Therefore, this is bad news for me and all Louisville fans. However, I think for a player of his caliber it makes sense.

Amateur athletes all over the world often dedicate their life, at the expense of a typical adolescent lifestyle and schooling, to become Olympians or future pros. It isn't at all uncommon for a teenage tennis player or golfer to commit to a rigorous regimine that includes intense training to achieve their ultimate goal. These athletes could work their way through the typical route to achieve the same success but the resources and competition are often not as adequate. The only difference between Tyler and these other athletes is the pay grade during the process.

Not only will Tyler make millions of dollars of the next two years, which never sucks, he will be able to learn and compete from and against a much higher level of competition that can't be replicated in high school or even at a high level Division I college like Louisville.

Once Tyler is eligible for the 2011 NBA draft his experience could be invaluable as it relates to being able to step into the league with a game ready-made for the suitor for his services. Might his game be exposed to a certain extent that would remove the "upside" tag that most NBA teams draft upon? Sure. There is a risk to going this route. But I like the balls he's showing in taking on that risk and the commitment it's going to take to prove what he's out to prove. If he ends up being a top-5 pick, he will have played his cards perfectly and cashed some nice checks in the meantime.

Spanish basketball sensation Ricky Rubio started playing professionly in Europe when he was just 14 years old. By all accounts he will be a top-3 pick in the upcoming NBA draft. Don't seem to hear many people making too many disparaging remarks about his decision - and it came at an even more tender age. As it turns out, his decision ramped up his learning curve and ended up landing him on last years Spanish Olympic team playing alongside the likes of NBA'ers Pau Gasol, Rudy Fernandez, Jose Calderon and Juan Carlos Navarro as a 16 year-old!

Of course, my opinion of Tyler's decision does have a caveat. Given the fact that he's only 17 years old (from San Diego) there are some pitfalls that could be damaging to his future. After all, he will be in a foreign country forced to adjust to many other things beside the skill level of his competition. There will be homesickness, a language barrier to some extent, money issues that he's never had to deal with, increased scrutiny and press as well as the ego-related reality of not being coddled and hyped like he's surely become acustomed to. However, if handled properly, dealing with these things could be a good real-life lesson in what it takes to be a professional.

Obviously, we won't know how Tyler's decision ends up playing out for another two years. Maybe he falls flat on his face and never plays anywhere else BUT Europe. But if you're a sensation of his caliber why not cash in on the next two years and be better for it in the long-run?

How Tyler's decision plays out could lead to more high school players making a similar decision. However, I doubt it will be to the extent we saw high school players jumping directly to the NBA over the past 10 years. I think most players will see the college route as the better option despite the money opportunity in Europe. I think most kids still find playing for a college program, experiencing the college lifestyle, trying to carry their team to the Final Four or winning a national championship a dream they'd rather try and fulfill on their way to the NBA.

Furthermore, I think most players parent(s) will require that they finish high school so the European option would only be a one-year proposition. Therefore, the probabilityof gaining much more than money a year earlier won't be as valued as the opportunity to learn from a coach, like Pitino, for that one year, getting to play on national TV, in front of your family or being the poster-child for One Shining Moment.

We shall see.